Relationship with our pets = opportunity to heal attachment injuries
Anyone who owns a dog or cat surely feels and knows that these animals often act as “therapy animals” for their owners.
I also noticed shortly after my dog moved in that if I get tense – without me saying anything or showing it from the outside – he notices my restlessness on the other side of the room and immediately runs to cuddle with me and do everything to make me feel better.
Today, this is no longer just an individual observation, scientific research also supports the fact that petting animals has a calming effect on the nervous system and the heart, and in general, keeping a dog or cat reduces the risk of heart and other stress diseases.
However, based on my own experience and my work with my clients, I have come to the conclusion that it is much more than that.
Because this is not a one-sided, but a mutual relationship, which includes attachment, responsibility, and the cooperation that comes with living together on the part of both parties.
Especially with pets kept in the apartment, it is obvious – but also noticeable with those kept outside – that our animals become part of our family, they appear as a very important relationship in our lives, just as we do in theirs.
And this close relationship – like all close relationships – offers the opportunity to learn new attachment patterns.
Even those who did not grow up in a loving family, treating an animal kindly and paying attention to it, taking care of it responsibly, can experience an emotionally safe relationship, from which on the one hand you can learn a lot, and on the other hand you can see a different possibility for human relationships.
I had a client who grew up in an emotional environment that was not at all accepting or safe, but as soon as she got a cat, she began to learn and experience the loving care that was not given to her. On the one hand, she learned to take responsibility for another living being, for its well-being, but at the same time, she also saw that this role also includes the fact that even if the cat knocks a flower off the shelf, for which she scolds him, she still loves him and does not turn away from him, but forgives him.
And it’s mutual. Her cat also pays attention to her emotional states, trying to cheer her up when she’s sad and calm her down when she’s nervous. And if she has a bad day, and yells at the cat once, although it may be offended, but sooner or later it softens, and no matter what happens, both of them experience that the relationship is stable and they can count on it.
This is also why it is worth treating our animals well. On the one hand, we learn care and attention, and on the other hand, the love we receive from them also shows us what safe loving relationships are like, which everyone needs and which is worth striving for. And this experience can also provide a basis for the development of our human relationships.
Finally, here’s an illustration of my beloved little dog friend: Arthur
